Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)

                                      

Better late then never right? It’s twenty minutes before midnight, so I still got time for this. Today’s film is Paranormal Activity 2, the prequel to the first one. I’m not a big fan of prequels honestly, and this one is no exception. I found it to be too slow, have too many characters and not much substance.

The story in this one, if you can call it that, let’s face it this series doesn’t have much when it comes to story, follows the Katie’s sister’s family, as they experience some Paranormal Activity ( see what I did there?). Since I’ve already talked about the first one, I don’t need to explain the difference between Ghosts and Demons, being the same entity from the first one. The main ‘story’ in this one is about the Demon wanting the family’s new born baby Hunter, because if you make a deal with a demon, it goes after the new born.

There’s nothing new in this one we haven’t seen before, either it be in the first one, or in another movie. This one brings possession to the table though, much more prominently then the first one, and for it’s credit, the possession bits are quite unnerving, right up until Katie’s possession. As a prequel, it leads up literally to the very start of the first one, and then it skips to after the end of the first.

The ending doesn’t really leave anything to be desired, which is weird because the third one is going to be coming out in Oct 2011. As far as the series goes, it’s pretty much the same as the first, you have your Paranormal Activity ( twice in one review, I am good), and that’s all you really expect.

If you liked the first one, you’ll like this one, and you know what to expect. As for me, I found myself wanting a bit more from it, it didn’t unnerve me the same way the first one did, and I know I’ll sleep fine tonight. Until tomorrow Horror Fans, I leave you with :

Score – 65%
Gore – 1/10

PS : I still want to know if the dog is ok 😦

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The Curse Of El Charro (2005)

                                                   
I’ve talked about some bad movies ( Red Hook Anyone?),  and I’ve talked about some damn good movies, but I’m not sure I’ve ever talked about a good bad movie. You know, the kind you’d see on B-Horror Blog, in the Medium rating. What makes it good? What makes it bad? Well, that’s what your still reading for right?

The story is pretty simple, Maria keeps having nightmares and visions of her sister, who committed suicide, which leaves her as our troubled main character. Her friend decides to take her on a vacation, down to a nice party house, equipped with pool, hot tub, and some nice bongs.

Along the way there, we’re introduced to the victims of the movie. The slutty black girl who blows a cop, the moody goth chick who does a lot of drugs, and Maria’s friend, who is your all around nice girl. All the victims are pretty cut and paste stereotypes, meaning we’ve seen them all before, and know what to expect, the slut will die, the nice girl will live, ect.

The movie is a slasher of course, so we’ve got to meet a couple more victims at a bar in order to up the body count later on. We meet the nice guy, the Stoner, the stoner’s friends, the ex-girlfriend bitch. Now we have a nice little crew of people to die in half assed slasher ways.

The killings them self range from pretty sweet ( like the lesbian sex/death/shower scene)  to pretty much shit ( like the open door cut away slash death). The acting is nothing to write home about either, no one in the piece is that skilled, some worse then others ( like the ex-girlfriend who constantly swears and threatens people, even after having her hand cut off), while others are able to have some fun, even if they arn’t the best ( like the stoner, my favorite).

The movie also tries to do some really interesting things, which work surprisingly well. For example, when Maria gets the back story on the curse and the killer, it’s told to her through a silent movie piece of editing, which was surprisingly fun to watch.

There’s a lot of dumb moments in the film though. You come across a car with it’s four ways on the side of the road, with the door open, turns out it’s your friends, so you invite them over. Pretty simple, makes sense. But why would you drive away, leaving their car door still open and the lights on? A lot of moments like this populate the film, and really take away from it, but it’s hard to hold it against the film.

So over all, I liked the movie, even if it does have it’s share of problems, and an Deus Ex Machina ending, I still recommend it, but only to fans of horror movies, and not just good movies.

Score – 70%
Gore – 7/10 ( god help them they tried.)

Guest Review By B-Horrorblog – Buried Alive (2007)

                                        

Year of Release: 2007
Genre: Horror
IMDB Rating: 3.9 / 10
Level of Awful: Medium

WHAT IT’S ABOUT:

OK, first of all, before we dive into what went on in this little treat of a movie, let me just say that the ‘Dimension Extreme’ label is misleading since there really isn’t anything all that extreme about this movie (discounting how hard and fast naked breasts are thrown at you). As a good bad movie it works spectacularly and gives you everything you could want: drunken sorority sisters stripping down in a string of initiation tests, drunk and drugged guys having sex with said sorority sisters, a seriously pissed off Native American ghost with an axe and a budget that allowed for plenty of fake blood to be poured all over the place.

Our story goes a little something like this: a group of friends are heading up to a house in the middle of the desert under the guise of helping one of the friends out with initiating her sorority pledges. Our group is made up of Zane, a regular guy on prescription meds who was just kicked out of college, his cousin Rene who is in charge of the initiation, Rene’s boyfriend Danny who is jockish in appearance but fragile as a flower, Phil the computer geek who just had his first beer and ecstasy tablet on his way to the house, and pledges Laura and Julie. Needless to say nobody hikes out to the middle of the desert to stay in a house just so that their cousin can initiate two bimbos into a sorority. Zane has a much bigger plan in mind: back in the day his grandfather owned the house and the land it sits on and he made his fortune prospecting for gold which he found in abundance. When the old house burnt down that gold was never found and Zane intends to dig it up.

Thrown into the mix we have Lester, a care taker by day, gold thief by night and all-round crazy loon. Lester’s job is to look after the old house while Zane and his family aren’t in it and he wasn’t expecting Zane to be there so his plans to steal the gold in the ground have kind of ground to a halt. That’s not to say that he won’t be rewarded for the inconvenience because the initiation’s about to get underway! To warm up you have the obvious humiliations and making people wait on you hand and foot but, as the day leads into night and drugs and booze are consumed, the clothing must come off. Never before has the desert been so teeming with perky breasts bouncing through its hot sands as the girls have to jog from the house to Lester’s trailer on a scavenger hunt.

But enough of the fun and games, this is a horror movie after all and somewhere there needs to be a demon spawn of some sort to give this movie purpose. Enter our ghost with no name who has been stalking Zane since they first set out on this little adventure. Turns out she’s the first wife of Zane and Rene’s great-grandfather who buried her alive with a whole lot of gold. Having taken her revenge many years ago she managed to off the great-grandfather, the second wife and 3 of the 4 children from that marriage. Zane and Rene’s grandfather was the only child to escape. Evidently grudges don’t die easily and the spirit now sees an opportunity to finish what she started with bloody gore and occasional background music.

It’s certainly not a movie to be taken seriously and within about 15 minutes of watching it it’ll all be forgotten but for an hour and a half’s worth of mindless, gory entertainment it’s worth it.

LIFE’S LESSONS LEARNED:

  • Making out is a perfectly acceptable way for cousins to say hello.
  • Blondes think rabbits have antlers.
  • Baths full of blood are portals for malevolent spirits.
  • Beer is now considered to be food.
  • Risking other people’s lives is a fun way to forget about the Native American ghost that’s trying to kill you.
  • Stiff nipples are very important when looking to get into a sorority.
  • Trust exercises involve a lot of stripping.
  • Native American ghosts are remarkably solid.
  • Naked jogging with a dead rabbit is an excellent way to burn off those unwanted pounds.

Want more b-grade goodness? Head on over to The B-Horror Blog.

Voodoo (1995)

Let’s get to my thoughts on the movie before we even talk about what the movie is about. I’m still completely unsure of what I feel about this one. Sure it has Corey Feldman, nudity, and college fraternities, but it feels like it’s missing a special something. I think it might of been missing a machete, or maybe some turtles, because Corey just didn’t have the same impact on me here that he normally does.

Corey Feldman play’s Andy, a college student with the great idea of transferring colleges and continents to be with his girlfriend, before telling her or finding a place to stay. Take a step forward a couple hours, and he’s living at the Pi Nu fraternity, and all he had to do was steal a naked corpse. If only everything in life was that easy.

I’m going to speed this up a little and get to the good stuff.

  • Fraternity is made up of zombies.
  • Zombies are led by Cassian Marsh
  • Marsh is voodoo priest.
  • Marsh only needs one more zombie to live forever
  • Andy will be that zombie
 I know that seems like a very basic way of writing about this movie, but really the movie it’s self is very basic. There’s not much going on in it except for that. Andy can’t tell anyone cause their all in it, and they kidnap his girlfriend, so it’s up to him to save the day. We’ve seen it all before, a thousand times.

I feel I might of liked the movie more if it had come out in the 80s. It has a very 80s feeling to it,  every part of it, from the acting, to the effects, and even the cinematography. I’m a big fan of 80s movies, specially 80s horror movies, but the fact that this was so far behind it’s time really didn’t settle well with me.

And for those reason’s I have to leave this one with :

Score – 50% (just so bland)
Gore – 2/10

Guest Review By Faith – High Tension (2003)

                                        

It seems as though I get to write a review for the lovely Zack and his amazing review site. 😀

So I shall be reviewing ” High Tension”, or as I like to call it ” When crazy masturbating lesbians attack.” I know this movie has gotten so many mixed reviews, not going to say why because I don’t want to ruin the ending of anyone. But I rather enjoyed the story even with it’s huge plot hole.

So we start off in an asylum type setting with a badly tortured girl rocking back and forth, mumbling some french shit. Rewinding a little bit, the movie takes us to Alex and Marie, two young college girls wanting to get away from the city to do a little studying. After a smoke, some tunes, and fapping to her best friend’s tits, Marie hears the whole family get brutally murdered and attempts to help her best friend Alex as she was abducted by the random serial killer that just off’d the whole family.

Now overall I liked the story, or more so the idea of the story and all the possibility’s they had with it. Sadly it seemed that the ending was a bit rushed and just thrown in there because they were pressed for time.

The acting was decent though, and a rather well made film. I would say it’s worth seeing this movie once, after seeing the ending it kinda takes away from ever seeing it again. You know you wanna see  someone get fucked over by a barbed wire pole. Not to mention Marie could save me anyday. ;D

So I give this movie a :
Score – 76%
Gore – 8/10

( and before anyone asks, yes there is a tv in the kitchen)

The Devil’s Chair (2007)

                                  

Today I bring you an……interesting title. The story of Nick, a simple guy who just wanted to drop some acid and get laid, and instead ends up finding a chair that leads to another dimension.

So, after his girl gets sucked through to another dimension, Nick spends the next four years in a mental hospital, coming to terms with the fact that he must of murdered her, and covered up the trauma of it in his mind.  It isn’t until he’s brought back by Dr. Willard, with three of his students as well, that he realizes that it’s all true.

From the get go you know that this isn’t your typical horror movie. It’s shot and narrated more like a London gangster film, then a horror movie, and I for one think it work’s to the film’s benefit. It’s always a nice to have a breath of fresh air in a genre that is over flowing with cheap knock-offs and sequels.

The gore in the film is quite well done, even if it is mostly done in up close and parting shots. The acting is also quite well done, even if a few of the characters are completely over acting. The actor who plays Nick, Andrew Howard, does quite a good job, I’d like to find more he’s done.

It’s a nice change for the genre, I think you should check it out, I got it for five bucks, but I’d be willing to spend some more on it. It’s not for everyone, but I think you should at least give it a shot.

Score – 87%
Gore –  9/10

The Shortcut (2009)


 I always love when movies start in the past, around the 40-60 era, something about the feel of the time gets to me. We start back then, with a couple dressed up nicely, taking a shortcut through the woods. He comes on to hard, they argue, and she ends up getting killed off by a little kid. I don’t know how anyone can get killed by a kid, I’d just drop kicked the fucker, but hey, it’s not my movie, I’ll leave the problems to you.

The story jumps back and forth through time, between ‘ The Old Man’s” past ,and his present, as a group of high school kids try to figure out if he’s killing dogs or not. Honestly, killing dog’s doesn’t seem like such a high stakes game for a horror movie, not when films like Inside are putting unborn babies on the line. At least in the past we see how deranged the Old Man is, and that he is indeed a murderer.

Long story short, we find out that the old man is really the kid from the past’s older brother, and he has his little brother chained up in the basement, because he’s a ruthless killing machine. The teens who let him out suffer for it, except for the main character and his all of the sudden love interest replacement. With a nice twist at the end.

The movie suffers from a sever lack of gore and swearing, due to the fact it’s pg-13. It’s not really worth the watch, but I do it cause I love you.

Score – 65%
Gore – 3/10