Guest Review By B-Horrorblog – Buried Alive (2007)

                                        

Year of Release: 2007
Genre: Horror
IMDB Rating: 3.9 / 10
Level of Awful: Medium

WHAT IT’S ABOUT:

OK, first of all, before we dive into what went on in this little treat of a movie, let me just say that the ‘Dimension Extreme’ label is misleading since there really isn’t anything all that extreme about this movie (discounting how hard and fast naked breasts are thrown at you). As a good bad movie it works spectacularly and gives you everything you could want: drunken sorority sisters stripping down in a string of initiation tests, drunk and drugged guys having sex with said sorority sisters, a seriously pissed off Native American ghost with an axe and a budget that allowed for plenty of fake blood to be poured all over the place.

Our story goes a little something like this: a group of friends are heading up to a house in the middle of the desert under the guise of helping one of the friends out with initiating her sorority pledges. Our group is made up of Zane, a regular guy on prescription meds who was just kicked out of college, his cousin Rene who is in charge of the initiation, Rene’s boyfriend Danny who is jockish in appearance but fragile as a flower, Phil the computer geek who just had his first beer and ecstasy tablet on his way to the house, and pledges Laura and Julie. Needless to say nobody hikes out to the middle of the desert to stay in a house just so that their cousin can initiate two bimbos into a sorority. Zane has a much bigger plan in mind: back in the day his grandfather owned the house and the land it sits on and he made his fortune prospecting for gold which he found in abundance. When the old house burnt down that gold was never found and Zane intends to dig it up.

Thrown into the mix we have Lester, a care taker by day, gold thief by night and all-round crazy loon. Lester’s job is to look after the old house while Zane and his family aren’t in it and he wasn’t expecting Zane to be there so his plans to steal the gold in the ground have kind of ground to a halt. That’s not to say that he won’t be rewarded for the inconvenience because the initiation’s about to get underway! To warm up you have the obvious humiliations and making people wait on you hand and foot but, as the day leads into night and drugs and booze are consumed, the clothing must come off. Never before has the desert been so teeming with perky breasts bouncing through its hot sands as the girls have to jog from the house to Lester’s trailer on a scavenger hunt.

But enough of the fun and games, this is a horror movie after all and somewhere there needs to be a demon spawn of some sort to give this movie purpose. Enter our ghost with no name who has been stalking Zane since they first set out on this little adventure. Turns out she’s the first wife of Zane and Rene’s great-grandfather who buried her alive with a whole lot of gold. Having taken her revenge many years ago she managed to off the great-grandfather, the second wife and 3 of the 4 children from that marriage. Zane and Rene’s grandfather was the only child to escape. Evidently grudges don’t die easily and the spirit now sees an opportunity to finish what she started with bloody gore and occasional background music.

It’s certainly not a movie to be taken seriously and within about 15 minutes of watching it it’ll all be forgotten but for an hour and a half’s worth of mindless, gory entertainment it’s worth it.

LIFE’S LESSONS LEARNED:

  • Making out is a perfectly acceptable way for cousins to say hello.
  • Blondes think rabbits have antlers.
  • Baths full of blood are portals for malevolent spirits.
  • Beer is now considered to be food.
  • Risking other people’s lives is a fun way to forget about the Native American ghost that’s trying to kill you.
  • Stiff nipples are very important when looking to get into a sorority.
  • Trust exercises involve a lot of stripping.
  • Native American ghosts are remarkably solid.
  • Naked jogging with a dead rabbit is an excellent way to burn off those unwanted pounds.

Want more b-grade goodness? Head on over to The B-Horror Blog.

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One thought on “Guest Review By B-Horrorblog – Buried Alive (2007)

  1. Pingback: Buried Alive « The B-Horror Blog

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