Your movie not sounding as good as it should? You think it’s too smart for modern audiences? Well the just follow these simple steps, and you’ll have a dumbed down version of a decent film on your hands to sell the masses!
1. Rap stars.
Seed Of Chucky not looking like it will sell enough? Leprechaun In Da Hood just not have the zing it needs? Well that’s simple, throw a rapper in there, everyone loves rappers these days. I mean who would of watched Halloween Resurrection if Busta Rhymes wasn’t in it. Kids these days love rappers.
Run out of ideas for your series? There’s one simple answer that always works. Space. It’s huge, so why not send your antagonist out there for a huge body count! All the cool kids are doing it these days, Leprechaun, Jason, Pinhead. Why aren’t you?
3. No continuity is the new continuity
What was your last movie about? Did you really take time to answer that? How stupid! Just throw together a new movie in a similar sub-genre and slap on your logo, do I have to do all the work for you?
And there you have it folks, three simple rules to make sure your piece is ‘hip’ and ‘fly’ enough for today’s audiences. Enjoy your masterpieces!