Cyrus (2010)

Some times a movie comes around that is just so dark you can’t help but watch it with a light on, snuggled up with your favorite pillow, and prepare yourself for the nightmares that will come. I love it when that happens.

Cyrus follows the story of serial killer Cyrus, as told to reporter Maria, played by Danielle Harris, by Emmett, played by Lance Henriksen. Cyrus starts his murderous ways when he catches his wife cheating, and offs the pair, follow shortly by the very dark killing of his infant child. The movie has balls, very big balls, and it will continue to show it throughout the next hour, only letting up for you to gasp for breathe before submerging you back in to it’s twisted world.

I will watch anything with Danielle Harris, I’m an easy sell where she’s concerned, but I won’t like everything with her in it. This has quickly become one of my top five Danielle Harris movies, and while her roll is done with the same grace you would expect, it’s really Lance Henriksen’s performance that shines. Lance plays the role of the narrator throughout the film, and the way he says some of the lines are just haunting.

The camera work is also really well done, but it can be hard to appreciate because of the low budget look the film has. Thankfully the film it’s self makes up for the appearance, and it’s something that will quickly be overlooked as your drawn into the depraved world of selling ‘Roadkill’ burgers.

This one gets a flat out 10 when it comes to goes, not just for what is on screen, but what we hear happen off as well. When the gore is on screen, it looks disgusting, in that good way we bidites swarm over. This film is not for the weak of heart, there is always something, from infanticide, to rape, and plain out misogyny. It’s a film that is going to offend, but when your main character is a serial killer who starts to slip into the same delusions associated with serial killers as they start to indulge in their fantasy.

Cyrus went from just being another film I watch for my Danielle Harris obsession into one that I recommend with the highest regards. There’s only a few things that really upset me about it. I found the actor who played Cyrus, while doing a good job, went with some odd choices in his performance in a few scenes that didn’t seem to fit the atmosphere. The other is simple. Danielle Harris needs a larger role.

So guys, check this one out, it’s On Demand #here at least# and it’s worth every penny. The atmosphere in the movie rivals that of Murder Set Pieces and Anti Christ, in tone, yet unlike Murder Set Pieces, the movie is a great watch, and not a waste of ninety minutes.

Score – 90%
Gore – 10/10


Phantasm II (1988)

Hey guys, sorry about the break, just moved, found a job, and re-connected with old friends again, but now that I got everything back on track, let’s talk about Phantasm II. This was my first viewing of the second one, having only seen the first one, and I have to say, I like Phantasm a lot more after this one, and can’t wait to see the rest.

Mike, the kid from the first movie, is back after a six year stay in an institution, and after meeting up with his uncle Reggie, who’s family is killed right away, they go off together to track down Liz, Mike’s psychic girlfriend to be, and The Tall Man, to put an end to his reign of terror.

Phantasm II has quite a few flaws in it, the acting from the supporting cast seems to be pretty null, while the main cast handles themselves quite well. I love Angus Scrimm, who’s name could be used for a slasher already, as The Tall Man, he brings a very malevolent pressence to the film. Paula Irvine, who played Liz, seems to go from delivering lines well, to botching them up completely. She also has that look, as if you remember her from something else, but she has had a very small acting career and retired in the early 90s.

There isn’t all that much gore in the film, but when there it is it a treat to look at. We get to see people melting from the inside out, burned alive, dismembered, it’s awesome. One of my favorite moments in the film comes when a preist uses the word of god against The Tall Man, only to be hung by his own crucifix, showing just how much power god has over The Tall Man.

If your a fan of the first one, and haven’t seen the second ,I think you should check it out, it’s a fun little movie. Or if your like me, and not to big on the first one, maybe this will change your mind. Either way, just go in looking to have some fun, you’ll find it here.

Score – 80%
Gore – 8/10

What happened to all the horror programming aimed at kids?

Unable to sleep due to nerves, I found myself watching Extreme Ghostbusters, the cartoon series sequel to The Real Ghostbusters cartoon. It’s aimed at children, but with many jokes and references that adults and horror fans will get, like entire episodes based on Hellraiser and Killer Klowns From Outter Space. This led me to think about the shows I watched as a kid, and still like to check out from time to time these days. Horror shows aimed at kids.

I remember many a night I couldn’t sleep, too scared by the newest episode of goosebumps, thinking that fucking dummy would walk in the door any minute. It wasn’t until years later I started to realize how many of the episodes were just dumbed down plots stolen from horror films.

I remember being completely taken in by Moville Mysteries, and Archie’s Weird Mysteries, thinking about how great it would be to live in a town where all this crazy stuff went down. I would sit in front of the tv eating up hours of b-horror plot in bite sized kid safe form.

While these shows were aimed at kids, they didn’t hold back from throwing scares our way, and they didn’t all have a happy ending either. They were shows to help raise an entire generation of horror fans, and if we were lucky enough to stay up late on a Friday night, we might even get to see an episode of Tales from the crypt, instead of just watching it’s animated adaptation.

I want to know what happened to children’s television, maybe I’m just getting older, and don’t understand it, but it seems today’s children programming holds nothing of interest. What happened to the shows that were made just as much for adults, as for the children watching them? More importantly where did all the horror shows go? Are we ever going to see horror aimed at kids in the same way we use to?

Metamorphosis The Alien Factor (1990)

I like bad movies, which will leave many of you asking why I give harsh ratings. The thing is, I like bad movies that know they are bad. When a movie like I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, or Orphan comes around, I am harder on them, because of the let down. When I go into a movie, knowing it’s going to be bad, I tend to go in with the mindset of shutting my brain off, and enjoying the unintentional comedy. That said,  today’s film was hilarious.

The first half of the movie follows evil Donald Trump, as he gets a scientist to tell the story, via flashbacks, to his two thugs for hire. She worked with Foster, her lover, doing test on animals infected with a space virus. Foster has the misfortune of being bitten, and turning into a big bad ass mutant. He kills a doctor and a security guard and escapes to run amok through out the building. The security guard’s daughter and boyfriend decide to break into the labs, to find her dad, and her little sister sneaks in as well. This leads us on a poorly acted chase for the next forty minutes.

The acting in this film is horrible, in the truest sense of the word. Every line is delivered as if the character speaking was on Valium, or acting in a spoof like Meet The Spartans. While in many movies this would be a downside, here it’s one of the main reasons to watch the film. Evil Donald Trump, as I like the call the evil head of the labs, makes every scene he’s in pure comedy gold.  The dialog is also poorly written, leading to many ball busting laughs.

Where the movie lacks in acting, it makes up for in special effects. When it comes to b-horror, special effects are almost always lacking. Here, we are greeted with some great gore effects, such as pouring acid on a mutant bite, near the beginning, to the absolutely awesome metamorphosis the title tells us about. The creature effects are quite fun too, there is some very odd design choices, that make Foster a monster to remember. Some of the kills are lacking though, with most the money put into the creature, we get some cheap blood, and some cut away kills, which would of been a blast to see. But every now and then we get to see heads being bitten and picked up, but no where near as well done as that death in The Thing.

I don’t know what to say about this one, I had a blast watching it, even though so much is wrong, it just comes together to make it a fun time, a movie well deserving of a drinking game.

Score – 60%
Gore – 9/10