Among first starting Vampires Out For Blood, I thought to myself, “well shit, this is pretty much the screenplay I’ve been working on”, thankfully though, after about half an hour, the movie goes downhill quickly, and never quite finds it’s way back out.
Kevin Dillon stars as Hank, a down on his luck cop, who’s been abusing alcohol, and stalking his ex wife. Upon beating a mugger’s face into a bloody pulp in the park he was watching his ex jog through, he is confronted by the chief of police, one Lance Henriksen. The chief tells Hank that he has to quit the alcohol and stalking, and gives him a missing persons case to work on.
Instead, Hank heads over to an industrial club, you know, the kind with hot goths taking strange pills, and your most likely to find me in on a saturday night. Luckily Hank happens to run into his missing girl, who he takes up on her offer of sex. The sex of course turns out just to mean, vampire sucky sucky time, leading to the master vampire biting Hank. With no one believing Hank’s story about the vampires, except his ex wife, who writes about vampires, will Hank be able to stop them before he’s turned?
Vampires Out For Blood suffers on several levels, having been only a made for tv movie, the potential in the script is sucked dry by the speed of which the film was shot. Minor mistakes really stand out, such as, why is Kevin Dillon wearing the same blood stained t-shirt for three days, and why does it seem Lance Henriksen is the only person having fun with their role. Worse of all though, Vampires suffers from a terrible climax, finally getting to see, and worse, hear the master vampire, he comes off as a whiny, and annoying, immature blood suckers, where as he has been spoken about so highly, and in such regard, that we expect him to be a shining achievement of all that is evil. To top this all off, the movie ends with a ” did it all really happen” style scene, which they go and piss all over right after.
The blood in this one is done well, but getting runny blood isn’t hard to do. The gore on the other hand, looks like a first year special makeups student did it. The bite marks of the vampires look less like bites, and more like a close call in a knife fight, which never once gets questioned. There’s even a decapitation thrown in for good measure, but really, I wish they hadn’t.
All in all, Vampires Out For Blood has some good ideas, but fails short of seeing them achieved at a level that will be remembered. The mythology of the vampires themselves is interesting at best, having played off many famous films, with a little bit added, but we’ve all seen a million in one vampire movies, and most of them better than here. Do your self a favor, if your thinking of watching Vampires Out For Blood, throw in Near Dark instead.
Score – C+
Gore – 5/10
I’m changing my rating system from numbers to letters, I find it’s just easier to keep track of.