Jumping The Shark – Feast 2 : Sloppy Seconds.

Last time around we looked at how the Leprechaun movies took a dive for the worse, but at least they were lucky enough to get three good ones out. Having three good one’s out shows that there was something there worth watching. Nothing’s worse then when what could be an amazing series takes a dive in the second act.
2005’s Feast was a masterpiece. It took fun characters, embraced cliches and turned them on their heads. The movie about a group of strange creatures attacking a bar could easily been nothing more then another cheap monster movie on the shelf at blockbuster, but instead it was one of the best monster movies of the last decade.

It had everything you could want from a monster movie. It was funny, scary, and filled with characters that we came to relate with, and care about. So when I heard there was a sequel, I was excited to get my hands on it. All I had heard was it took place in a town this time, instead of just a bar. I thought to myself “Awesome, more blood, more guts, and that lovable monster mayhem”.

I didn’t think wrestling midgets and female biker gangs.

2008 saw the release of Feast 2 : Sloppy Seconds, and with a name like that, I should of know what I was getting into. This time around it everything was just so much weaker. The story follows a biker gang that is going for revenge for one of their fallen that died in the attack in the first one. We get characters that we don’t care about, as well as characters that were clearly dead coming back. Everything in this one seemed to lack the charm of the first, even the monsters looked worse.

To make it worse, this time we didn’t even get a real ending. We might as well of had it pop up say to be continued, and ask us for more money.

By this point, I was almost dreading watching the third movie, but on the plus side, they have to have learned from their mistakes right?

I should learn never to make assumptions.

A year later and we get to watch the trash that is Feast 3 : The Happy Finish.

Our cast of characters once again involves a wrestling midget, people who should be dead, and a biker gang, as well as the other survivors from the end of the second. We get to watch a monster rape scene that reminds me of Deliverance without the fear. We also get a prophet who can control the monsters, he goes by Short Bus Gus, which really bothers me, because I believe strongly in not mistreating the mentally handicapped.

Everything in this movie is just bad, wait, bad’s not strong enough of a word. It’s just plain horrible, there is nothing of value in this movie, except for some nice nudity. There’s a couple laughs along the way, but all the horror and the mood of the first movie is gone. The characters are just plain annoying this time around, and the monsters aren’t even entertaining anymore.  Not to mention the end. I’m not spoiling anything by saying the end involves naked old people and robots. Yes robots, and no, I don’t get it either.

It’s very sad when a great movie spawns terrible sequels, but where other films that have bad sequels ( poltergeist, Prom Night), this one has sequels that are just hard to watch. I have a hard time recommending Feast to people, for fear they’ll go ahead and watch the rest.

There has been talks about one more, and I’m sure I’m not the only one that’s hoping it doesn’t get made.


Jumping The Shark – Leprechaun 4: In Space

Before I start on Leprechaun, I think it’s best if I explain a few things. Jumping The Shark is a new series of articles I’m writing, about horror movie series that have ” Jumped the shark”. Just in case you don’t know, let’s turn to Wikipedia quickly for the definition of Jumping The Shark : “Jumping the shark is an idiom, first employed to describe a moment in the evolution of a television show when it begins a decline in quality that is beyond recovery.” Now while I’m talking about horror movies instead of television, I think the term works perfectly.

Let us begin.

The year’s 1993, no one’s heard of Jennifer Aniston, and I still thought Power Rangers had a deep and complex plot, when a little gem called Leprechaun gets released. It’s a half decent horror movie, about a Leprechaun from Ireland who just wants his gold back, and will terrorize anyone to get it. Pretty decent effects, simple yet fun story, it was quite good, and a sequel was right around the corner.

But a scant year later, we got what I personally would call the high-point of the series, Leprechaun 2. This one was a lot darker then the first, had nudity, bloodier deaths, and quite a few more tricks up the little buggers sleeve. It also had my favorite version of the Leprechaun, in this one he would take gold where ever he saw it, be it a ring on a finger, or a candy coin.

Then in 1995 we got Leprechaun 3, this time our green friend takes a trip to Vegas, a little out of place for a Leprechaun, but what’s a tiny mythological entity to do. Raise some hell in the casinos of course. By this point, the series started to go down hill, we were getting stupid deaths, worse acting, and it was starting to lose it’s charm.

But wait, this is only the third one, there’s always a chance it could bring it back again, they just need to learn from their mistakes, make another one on the same level as the second one, and everything will be good.

Nope, fuck that, we got Leprechaun 4: In Space. Two years after the third one, just when it seemed like there wouldn’t be another tale with our favorite green friend, he came back, weaker then ever. Here we have a movie that involves lightsabers, an  experimental enlargement ray,cyborgs, and so much more. There’s  even a character that mutates into a deformed spider thing, called  Mittenspider. The movie goes so low as to have one of the female characters pants ripped off, just so she can spend the rest of the movie in her panties, instead of , I don’t know, getting dressed?

This one had the weakest story, the dumbest characters, and everyone in the movie makes the worst possible choices, at every chance they get. I don’t know how it was green lit, and who would of put their name on it. But it wouldn’t be jumping the shark if the series was able to make a come back now would it?

Leprechaun 4 was followed by Leprechaun In The Hood. It’s set in Compton, Ice-T steals the leprechauns magic flute ( where did that come from, I don’t know continuity is fucked like a two dollar whore). Not to mention that our main characters are all wanna be rappers, and thefts.

Sorry, that’s just too far for me. Waiter, Check Please.