The Final Destination (2009)


  So it seems we’re here again, finally. Sorry it took me so long to finish, I burned out on Final Destination faster then I thought I would. I remembered loving all the movies when I saw them. But watching them again I found myself growing bored by the end of the second. So here we are now, on the last one, ” The Final” one, even though that never stays true in horror movies, just look at Freddy’s Dead, and The Final Chapter. Shit never ends, and for some series, that’s good, but when it comes to FD, it’s just boring.

I’m a huge fan of gore, always have been, yet I find myself just bored with this movie. It could be that I’ve seen too many movies like ” Inside”, or maybe it’s just the lack of substance. There’s no shortage to the ways we can kill people, but without characters I care for, what’s the reason to watch other then to get your rocks off? The gore in this one isn’t nearly as fun as the last two were either. We have your usually decapitations, impaling, burned alive, as well as the fucking stupid ‘internal organs sucked out by a pool drain’. You got to be kidding me.

There’s really not much to say about this one, it’s lame, there’s nothing to save it really. Tune in tomorrow for the Series overview and the end of my Final Destination Marathon. That is until August.

Score – 50%
Gore – 10/10


Final Destination 3 (2006)


 What is it about teenagers that makes us crave to see them die? Is it the way they look, the fact they think they know everything, or the simple fact that when a movie series slips away from it’s intended audience, it can always find a younger one.

So, let’s talk about Final Destination 3, or as many people know it, that roller coaster disaster movie. We went from the idea of a plane blowing up, one that had not only children, but the mentally handicapped on it, to a pile up on the highway, completely with families and pregnant women, to a roller coaster, that little kids get kicked off of. Really? Right away from that simple fact, the movie doesn’t sit right.  It’s a series about Death, how you can’t truly stop it, and how no one is safe, so let’s make this a Death Kills Teens movie now. Way to jump the shark, at least in my humble opinion.

The movie starts out at a carnival, we get introduced to our main character quickly, we know it’s her cause she’s the only one having bad feelings about the night. Before we get to the vision, we get introduced to all the other unlucky victims, the black jock, the dumb bitches, the goth kids, the pervert, etc. The problem with a movie like this just setting up stereotypes is simple, we won’t care. I can honestly say the only character I cared about was the hot goth, and she gets her face nailed.

The gore in this one is amped up yet again, having people burned alive, head’s crushed, car engines ran through heads, impaled, there’s no shortage of ways to kill people it seems. The vision of the roller coaster crash alone was quite violent, I remember being surprised by what I saw when it was in theaters, mind you mine had it rated 14a so it would get the right audience in there.

Unlike the last movie, this one doesn’t try to connect it in anyway to the other ones, except having them read about it online, to understand what’s happening, instead of figuring it out on your own like Alex had to. Also, thankfully, this one gets rid of the mini visions of what’s going to happen, and instead of having to keep an eye out for signs, they just have to look at the pictures that were taken earlier in the film. Pretty easy going in you ask me.

So with the acting, the characters, and the story of the series on a steady decline, it’s clear that if it wasn’t for the younger audience these movies wouldn’t still be getting made, yet there’s another on next month, and still another one left to review for tomorrow. Some how these movies keep coming and going, they’re talked about when they drop, then are forgotten about all over again. It makes me wonder if Final Destination is my generation’s movie series that never ends like Friday The 13th. I hope not.

Score – 65%
Gore – 10/10


Final Destination 2 (2003)


So it’s been three years, and if your not following movie news,  there’s been nothing new from Final Destination, it’s looking like that was it. That’s fine. It was a good movie, and the ending didn’t call for another one. But it showed up, and it was alright, but it just came and left.

The story is pretty weak, we start with a crash, and a vision like last time. Kimberly (played by A.J. Cook) is going off with her friends to drive some where, it really doesn’t matter what they were doing, no one ever finishes what they set out to do in this series. As they get on to the highway, we get treated with a much gory vision scene then the first movie, of a highway pile up. There’s log’s going through peoples hears, people on fire, people ran over, etc.

So we get our group of people Death’s going to pick off, time to watch the fun begin. Before the movie’s done , we’re greeted with  images of kid’s being crush by glass, his body just exploding , impaling, decapitation, dismemberment, you name it. It happens this time. It’s quite a bit more then the first movie, and I know, the first movie had some good stuff , like the train decapitation, but nothing like this. The last film worked it’s way up to it, this one just throws it out at every chance it gets.

As the story moves along, we start having mini visions that we have to figure out the meaning behind, and learn that they all would of died if Alex didn’t get off the plane. We also get to see Clear again, but now she’s a blonde, and lives in an asylum, but that’s cool. Also Alex got killed by a falling brick. How lame. He was so badass in the first, and a fucking brick takes him out. Oh well.

Anyway, I like the film, it’s pretty cheesy, but the deaths are neat, and the acting isn’t terrible. I mean they even got the guy who does the voice of Kratos! At least it tried to be something adult. I mean it could be all about teens at a carnival….oh wait.

Score – 80%
Gore – 10/10

Final Destination (2000)


So here we start, with the first, the best, Final Destination. With a name like Final Destination, it’s surprising how un-final the series seems to be. It started in 2000, and now in 2011 their releasing a new one next month right after my birthday, I guess it’s the Final Fantasy effect.

So why is the first one the best? Well simply said, it was an original take on an unoriginal idea. The movie stripped down to bare-bones, is just a slasher film, with Death as the villain. Death stalks, and kills the characters off, one by one, just like Jason or Freddy.

The story is simple. Alex is going on a trip with his french class  to France, and while on the plane, before taking off, he has a vision of the plane blowing up, killing everyone on board. Of course he freaks out, like anyone would, and this results in him and a handful of his classmates and a teacher, getting kicked off the plane, to take a later flight. The vision comes true, but they were never meant to get off the plane, and now Death’s plan has been thrown astray, and it’s up the Death to finish what it started.

While the story is completely weak, it is an original take on the slasher genre, and for this reason, I completely enjoy it. Throw in some actors I care about like , Devon Sawa, from Idle Hands, Seann William Scott, from Dude Where’s My Car, and even a cameo by Tony Todd, as a funeral home worker with a twisted sense of reality, and you got yourself my money. Add to the original concept, and the actors, some totally awesome deaths, and you got yourself a live long fan here.

The death’s themselves are by far the shinning point of the series, and as the series grows only get more and more graphic. The later entries in the series are only worth watching for the deaths, since they stopped getting good star talent, and just rehashing the same story, changing the accident from plane crash, to car crashes, ect. The death’s in this one, while not nearly as graphic, are still quite amusing to watch, ranging from a strangulation scene that never fails to bother me, to a decapitation that comes out of no where.

Everyone who would be interested in this one, has already seen it by this point, but if you haven’t, or if it’s been awhile, I suggest watching it, maybe not so much the ones to follow, unless your like me and your pumped to see how people die in the upcoming release.

Score – 89%
Gore – 8/10

Poll Closed – Final Destination The Winner

I’m finally closing down the poll on the side. Final Destination was the winner, so starting tomorrow I’ll be reviewing them all, in order.

For those that don’t know, Final Destination is a series of movies about people cheating Death, and Death coming back to fix the order of live and death. They started out fresh, and over the sequels quickly became old. Join me as I talk about the decline of the series, and the how the future of it looks.